12 Films of Christmas - Numbers 6-4
6. Kneecap – rappers rapping
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“A country without a language is only half a nation,” declares an activist in Kneecap, a raging bulldozer of a film about an unlikely trio who take to the stage as one of the rare bands to perform in the Irish language. As a quasi-autobiographical film, the three real members of the band play fictionalised versions of themselves – these are Liam Óg Ó hAnnaidh (stage name Mo Chara), Naoise Ó Cairealláin (stage name Móglaí Bap) and J.J. Ó Dochartaigh (stage name DJ Próvaí), the latter of which wears a tri-colour balaclava on stage. Michael Fassbender co-stars as Naoise’s fictional estranged father, Arlo, a former republican paramilitary who faked his death and who taught his son and Liam to speak and appreciate Irish.
Based in Belfast, Kneecap are vocally republican and active promoters of the Irish language – one of the first scenes sees Liam refusing to speak “the Queen’s English” in an interrogation room, which is how he meets J.J., who is brought in as his translator. It’s at the police officer’s expense – they’re at a complete loss while Liam and J.J. chat in Irish and quietly exchange a notebook containing the future lyrics of Kneecap. It isn’t long before the trio are playing run down pubs, much to the patrons’ disregard, only to quickly rise the ranks when they peak younger people’s interest. They rap about police brutality, the British government, and working-class struggles, as well as Gaelic identity and hood culture – it’s absolute chaos, and all the better for it.
Kneecap itself finds its strength in its ability to merge political commentary and a bit of fun, which the boys have plenty of. Strange comic sequences and flashing club colours give the film an almost fantastical quality. The camera is in a world of its own, with jagged movements and sudden sweeps across the ceiling – but never not keeping pace with the group’s feverish verse. It’s Belfast meets Sing Street, with a touch of drug dealing thrown in. As actors, Óg Ó hAnnaidh, Ó Cairealláin and Ó Dochartaigh are quite something, particularly Óg Ó hAnnaidh, who brings a vulnerable quality to an otherwise aggressive subject. What’s so exceptional is their seeming lack of hesitation at all corners – they’re naturals, both onscreen and onstage, and they don’t shy away from anything. Plus, their songs are insane. To get started, check out C.E.A.R.T.A. and H.O.O.D.
5. That Christmas – five wild turkeys
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That Christmas surprised me in its ability to nab number five – but quite honestly, this Richard Curtis sap fest is absolutely delightful, and also one of only two films on this list that left me a tearful mess. Three stories intertwine as a storm descends on the little town of Wellington-on-Sea in this tale half-narrated by Santa (Brian Cox), each one as gooey as the last. There are twins Sam and Charlie, one stressed and Type A, the other a bit of a nightmare, anxiously awaiting the big day (will presents come for a naughty child?); newbie Danny, whose father’s recent departure has left his healthcare worker mother (Jodie Whittaker) a little overwhelmed, and who forms an unlikely bond with the stern headmistress Mrs Trapper (Fiona Shaw); and a hodgepodge mix of couples who leave their children on Christmas Eve to go to a wedding and end up caught out by the storm (their fault, really). As Curtis himself says, it’s Love Actually for kids – that is, a series of soft-hearted stories about love, understanding, loss and community, without the sex or booze. Strangely, the target audience is a little warped – it’s quite adulty for a child film and quite childish for an adult film, lacking in the ability to plant sex jokes without traumatising the little ones in true Shrek fashion. Still, it certainly works on twenty somethings who just wanted something simple and comforting to watch on Christmas Eve (though be prepared for the headmistress’ backstory).
The only real part I disliked was when the large group of kids, parentless on Christmas Day, set out to celebrate “their way” – this being, skipping the sit down meal, the long walk and the ‘old classic’ (Love Actually, a fun poke from Curtis to himself – but also, an upsetting proposition that Love Actually is now old enough to be considered a classic next to It’s A Wonderful Life? Surely this can’t be how children feel?). Instead, they eat junk, have a tech-heavy snowball fight and post it all on TikTok, which took the otherwise fairly analogue experience out of its times. If you’re going to tell a story about a quaint village with snow, Christmas cheer, cold water swimming and people looking at old photo albums by candlelight, then please stick to that and keep social media out of it. Nevertheless, the awkward first love, the sullen headmistress with a sad past, the struggling single mother all hit a Richard Curtis high note – the man still knows how to make people emotional.
4. Black Doves – four friendly assassins
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Honestly, it’s quite difficult to scroll through Instagram nowadays without seeing someone impersonate Keira Knightley, or at least express some sort of admiration – nay, obsession – with her. In Black Doves, she is Helen Webb, a spy who has infiltrated one of the top levels of the British government by marrying the defence secretary (Andrew Buchan). In other words, miles away from Pirates of the Caribbean and Pride and Prejudice. This is one of the first times I’ve seen Knightley in a role like this – it’s one that suits her, and which she seems marvellously comfortable in.
Black Doves itself is an excellent spy series with a festive twist – there’s something about the snow and Christmas lights that makes it subject matter (lots of blood and corruption) even gloomier. My only qualm is that I did not buy into Knightley as a spy, not because of her acting, but because of her storyline – despite being trained in the Black Doves organisation by the glacial Reed (Sarah Lancashire with a bob), and bearing the combat skills to go with it, she perpetually seems on a mission to sabotage the entire agency’s mission, from the love affair that jumpstarts the series through to her consistent insubordination and “I know best” attitude. As a result, it’s up to Ben Whishaw, dazzling as conflicted assassin Sam Young, to pick up the pieces – when she’s caught up in a fight with two other assassins, he must intervene. When she discovers one of her friends may be involved in her lover’s murder, it’s up to Sam to nab his phone. I know it’s Keira Knightley, but come on.
There are perhaps a few too many plotlines and characters in Black Doves to make for an easy watch – from the inciting incident, the Chinese Ambassador’s overdose (or, as becomes clear quite quickly, murder), through to Sam’s failed assassination on a criminal family, time is needed to pause, reflect and hang on as storyline upon storyline piles up. There are also the poor civilians to take care of and keep an eye on – Wallace, Helen’s unwitting husband, who is, despite being a politician, an absolute darling who just needs a hug, and Michael (a beautiful performance from Omari Douglas), Sam’s long-lost love caught in the crossfire. Nevertheless, Black Doves won me over despite its uncertain, slippery footing – it’s beautifully filmed, and surprisingly quite funny amidst the chaos, particularly Williams (Ella Lily Hyland) and Eleanor (Gabrielle Creevy), who Sam begrudgingly teams up with to take down Newman and rescue the Chinese Ambassador’s missing daughter Kai-Ming. Black Doves may be faulted, but it’s sharp and quick-witted, like a bullet out of a gun.